Mission: Redemption
by DeanCasLover22
Summary: Sequel to Mission: Diffusion, set in the 2nd half of my verison of Season 7. Castiel needs to redeem himself, especially since he may be Adam's only hope of escaping Hell.
1. Chapter 1

**Mission: Redemption**

_I've drawn regret_

_From the truth_

_Of a thousand lies_

_So let mercy come and wash away_

_What I've Done_

Song: What I've Done - Linkin Park

* * *

><p>One moment Castiel was consumed by darkness, the next he was free. He awakened with a gasp, and was surprised to see that he was not in the warehouse he'd been in moments before, but rather a bright white room that contained nothing except himself, and a figure that was also dressed in white.<p>

Castiel stood and peered at the figure, but no matter how much he strained his eyes, he could not make out its face. It stayed blurry.

"Who are you?" Castiel inquired, still squinting.

"You have never met me face to face before," the figure's voice boomed. "But you know who I am."

As the deep voice sounded, Castiel could feel the figure's power wash over him. And he knew.

"God," Castiel said, eyes wide.

The figure nodded, confirming that he was correct in his assumption.

"What happened?" Castiel asked.

"I tore the souls of Purgatory out of your essence," God explained. "The souls were eating at your grace. Consuming you; controlling you. You were almost completely and utterly destroyed by them, and you were about to kill Sam and Dean Winchester. I had to stop you."

Castiel felt bitter. "Why step in now? Why not earlier?"

"Because you needed to learn a lesson," God told him. "The kind of lesson that only going to the darkest of places can teach."

"I know that you felt abandoned," God continued. "But I was always there. I brought you back from death twice. That should have been enough proof that I cared. That was more than humankind and most of your brothers and sisters ever got. You should have had faith. You should not have expected me to step in and help every time you had troubles. You should not have given into your despair; you should not have gone so far to stop the war. I thought you would overcome it the right way. The way I had believed your experiences during the Apocalypse had taught you. You have disappointed me."

Castiel bowed his head. "I was foolish. I know that now."

"Yes," God agreed. "As well as egotistical."

Castiel closed his eyes.

"What are you going to give me as a punishment?" he questioned. "You must have one in mind."

God shook his head. "It is not a punishment, but rather an opportunity."

"An opportunity?"

"An opportunity to be redeemed for what you have done," God said. "As of now, you are banished from Heaven. I am going to strip you of your powers, and you will live life on Earth as a human."

"For how long?" Castiel asked.

"However long it takes for you to right the wrongs you have done," God replied, "And prove to me that you have truly learned what the word 'right' means. Only then will I return your grace to you."

As He finished speaking, God reached out to Castiel and touched his forehead with the tips of His fingers.

The room spun, and once more, Castiel was swallowed by darkness.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And the Is Chuck God? debate continues. I wasn't about to decide for you guys. BTW, I suggest listening to What I've Done, the song I quoted at the beginning of the chapter, if you haven't before. It gave me a lot of inspiration when it came to writing this series. In fact, I am obsessed with the song right now. I love the lyrics because it seems to fit Castiel really well, especially in this story.**


	2. Chapter 2

When Castiel reopened his eyes he found himself on a cot, staring up at a whooshing fan that was designed to look like a pentagram. He immediately remembered it, and realized he was in Bobby's panic room.

He sat up, too fast, and had to sit still for a few seconds and shake his head to get rid of the darkness that clouded his eyes.

When he could see clearly again, or as clear as his now human eyes could see, Castiel slowly stood, cautioned by the dizzy spell he'd had moments before. He approached the panic room door and gave it a shake.

It was locked as expected. The Winchesters may not have left him lying on a warehouse concrete floor but they weren't about to let him go as he pleased. Castiel couldn't complain. After what he'd tried to do and had done, Castiel felt he deserved much more punishment from the brothers than a lack of trust.

Castiel peered out of the little window in the door and spotted Dean sleeping on a spare cot on the side of the cellar, a couple yards from the panic room.

Castiel felt comforted by his presence even though it was likely Dean was just there to make sure he didn't escape, not because he cared, not because he was concerned. After all, Castiel knew he didn't deserve it.

Castiel moved back to the cot and sat back down, glancing at the faded Enochain banishing sigil that still was present on the wall from the time Dean had sent him away when he had made his escape from Bobby's to go searching for Michael over two years ago. A time when Dean had lost all hope and Castiel had never been more frustrated with his friend.

Thinking they couldn't resolve the Apocalypse together, Dean had decided it was best if he solved it on his own. Now Castiel had done the same. Castiel bowed his head. He should have known trying to save the world on your own was never a good idea.

While his eyes were down Castiel noticed that he wasn't in his trench coat and suit anymore, but rather jeans and a blue t-shirt. Possibly Dean's.

If he'd been injured and his clothes had gotten bloody that time when he was human during the Apocalypse, it wouldn't have surprised Castiel that his friends would give him new clothes to wear, at least until his had been cleaned, but he was humbled that they still had done it now. After everything. Maybe Sofiel had convinced them?

If she was still alive, that was.

Castiel prayed she was. He'd killed enough angels as it was. The idea of having killed both Balthazar _and_ Sofiel only for having tried to help the Winchesters to stop him from going too far was too much to bear now that he had human emotions. His heart ached at the thought. Sofiel was one of the kindest warrior angels there was. The only reason she had sided with Raphael was because he had reached out to her before Castiel had, and had convinced her that the Apocalypse had to be. She had been tricked into thinking that Castiel had made a terrible mistake by preventing Lucifer and Michael's final battle, but as soon as she knew the truth, she had ran from Heaven. Just like Castiel had. Or more fittingly, Balthazar.

Castiel put his head in his hands. He couldn't believe he had killed Balthazar before the souls had overtaken him. When he had still been himself, albeit desperate.

Balthazar had been the closest angel alley he'd had, the only one he could call a good friend, a good brother, during the war. He'd miss him. He already did.

Suddenly feeling exhausted, Castiel lain back down on the cot and stared at the fan above, watching it spin round and round until his eyes began to get heavy. Until he couldn't think any more about the wrong he'd done, and dosed off.

When he reopened his eyes, he found himself trapped in a nightmare.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Had a busy week. So glad I found time to do this. Next chapter some dead angels have a few words with Cas. Also, Dean thinks of what happened between Chapter 1 and 2 and sees something that amazes him. Don't worry, this is not going to be a book totally focused on Dean and Cas. Sam has a huge role to play in this fic soon. Promise.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'll be adding quotes from the song What I've Done at the beginning of only the chapters that they seem to fit because if I added them in every chapter I'd run out of lyrics. Just wanted to explain the future random appearances of lyrics.**

* * *

><p><em>I'll face myself<em>

_To cross out what I've become_

_Erase myself_

_And let go of what I've done_

* * *

><p>The panic room was a lot darker in the dream than in reality, but it wasn't the darkness that made Castiel realize he was dreaming. No, it was the tall figure that strolled out of one of its darkest corners to loom above him, blue eyes staring coldly down at him.<p>

Castiel bolted off the cot and put his back against the wall opposite to the figure.

"Lucifer," he gasped.

Lucifer walked around the cot which had been acting as a barrier between them. "Hello, Castiel."

"Impossible," Castiel murmured. "You can't be here; you can't visit people in their dreams while you are stuck in the cage."

"How do you know?" Lucifer inquired. "Maybe I found a way."

He smirked.

Castiel stared at him. "What do you mean? How?"

"I'm not going to tell you if I'm really here or not," Lucifer said. "Instead, I'm going to get to the reason of my being here because that is more important."

Castiel narrowed his eyes. "What is it?"

Lucifer grinned. "I just wanted to say that I am impressed. After Sam forced me to jump into that god-awful hole, you took a surprising turn for the better. Especially after you used then ditched that horrible demon and powered up on Purgatory's souls. That was a really clever idea, the demon Crowley had, wasn't it? Wish I'd thought of it. It could have been very useful to me during the Apocalypse. Too bad you let your guard down once you got the power. You should have been on the lookout for Father. He does not like competition. Take it from me."

Castiel shook his head.

"I am glad I wasn't paying attention," Castiel told him. "I needed help. I lost control. I killed angels that didn't necessarily deserve death, and I nearly killed the Winchesters."

"Precisely!" Lucifer exclaimed. "And then as the souls attacked the good in you more and more you'd have moved on to even greater things. Like wiping humans off the face of the Earth. Demons too. God as well, if you saw Him as a threat to your leadership. Which he would have been. You probably would have never released me, because I would have been a threat too, but I could have been satisfied with the thought of my enemies being dead."

"I am relieved I did not get a chance to give you that satisfaction," Castiel said.

Lucifer laughed. "You sure? You sure that you won't miss all that power? Being care free; feeling unstoppable? You may be surprised after a few months of being human, Castiel. You may wish you had that chance."

He got closer to Castiel, so that he was in his face.

"You and I are more alike than you want to be, and now you know it's true."

"No," Castiel snapped, glaring at his fallen brother. "I had unselfish reasons for my actions; you did not."

"Go ahead and tell yourself that," Lucifer said. "It does not change what you have done. I'm sure your so called friends will think similarly."

Lucifer smirked and backed off. His figure blinked in and out and then he was gone.

Castiel didn't have a chance to recover from seeing Lucifer disappear so fast because Rachel and Balthazar stood in his place.

"This is just a dream," Castiel muttered to himself, but he couldn't ease the horror that he felt.

Rachel was the first to speak. "Hello, Castiel. Happy to see us?"

"Wish I was," Castiel admitted.

"What's the matter Cas?" Balthazar inquired. "Don't like it when your dead friends come back to haunt you?"

Castiel stiffened. "Why are you here?"

"To tell you we told you so," Rachel said. "When I tried to kill you because I'd figured out you were lying, that you were not the angel I had sided with anymore, that should have been a wakeup call to get back on track. But no, you pushed on. Continued to lie; to work with the enemy. The King of Hell, of all demons..."

"And then you killed me," Balthazar interrupted. "I was working with those two Winchesters because I wanted to save you from whatever trouble you'd gotten into, and in return I got stabbed in the back. Thanks for the appreciation."

Castiel's throat tightened, and his vision blurred. "I'm sorry," he choked. "I wasn't thinking straight. I was blinded by my obsession to kill Raphael. To end the war. I know that now."

"So we weren't more important to you than the war?" Rachel growled. "You rather betray your family before finding a better way to stop a war?"

Castiel bowed his head. "I am terribly sorry."

"Your words are not enough," Rachel hissed. "Prove it."

With that, they were gone, and again, there was a new angel to replace them.

Castiel's eyes widened.

"Anna. Why are you here?"

"To give you advice," Anna replied. "Something you often sought from me before I attempted to kill Sam Winchester."

"And what is that?" Castiel asked.

"Don't screw up your second chance," Anna said. "Admit that you have a dark side and overcome it. Fix it. Be the best you can be. It is the key to getting your redemption."

"I will," Castiel promised. "I'll do anything to fix what I've done."

Anna glared at him. "You better. Not everyone gets so many chances. This is your last."

With that, she disappeared, and Castiel let himself collapse to the floor with one of his hands covering his face.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the real world, Dean watched through the panic room door's slot, stunned, as a single tear slid down Castiel's face.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: No room in this chapter for the remembering of what happened between Mission: Diffusion and Redemption. Next one there will be. And yes, I was desperate to make Cas cry now that he's human. I had to! lol**


	4. Chapter 4

Seeing that tear fall, Dean had a flashback to when Castiel had been lying on the warehouse floor, just after Sofiel had announced that God had been there.

* * *

><p><em>"God was here?" Dean stared at Sofiel. "Are you sure?"<em>

_Sofiel nodded. "I did not see Him very well, He was fuzzy for some reason, but I felt His light and His power. I have never been in the Lord's presence before, but I know it was Him. There is no doubt in my mind."_

_"What did He do to Cas?" Sam inquired, glancing down at the seemingly lifeless being that separated him and Dean from Sofiel._

_"He physically tore the souls out of Castiel," Sofiel answered. "And then He sent them back to Purgatory through a spell."_

_"What did He do after?" Dean questioned._

_"After that He disappeared," Sofiel said. "One moment He was there, the next-gone."_

_"Is Cas still alive?" Sam asked._

_Sofiel crawled over to Castiel's side and studied him. "He is still breathing, but it is very shallow." She unbuttoned Castiel's shirt to look at his wound. It was deep, ragged, and ugly, but the bleeding had stopped. "I do not think God intended to kill him. If He had wanted that, Castiel would already be dead."_

_"Why would God put a hole in Cas like that and then leave him unhealed if He didn't want to kill him?" Dean inquired._

_Sofiel frowned in thought. "I do not know. All I know is something is wrong."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I'd have thought that after the souls were gone I'd be able to sense his grace again, but I can't."_

_Dean and Sam shared a look._

_"Are you suggesting he might be human?" Dean asked, turning back to Sofiel._

_She shrugged slightly. "There is only one way to find out."_

_With that, she drove her hand into Castiel's chest and did a soul search._

_Castiel had to have been in a deep unconsciousness __because he gave no sign of distress, unlike those whom he'd done searches on previously._

_After several seconds Sofiel pulled her hand out of Castiel and nodded a confirmative to Sam and Dean. "He is human."_

_As she spoke Castiel's wound magically disappeared before their eyes._

_"Are you sure?" Dean questioned._

_"One hundred percent," Sofiel told him. "God must have just healed Cas because he has no grace in him anymore, and I can clearly feel a soul in there."_

_"Why would God make him human?" Sam asked._

_Sofiel gazed at Castiel's face. "I do not know how the Creator's mind works, but He must have plans for him. What those are will be a mystery until Castiel stirs, and that is if he has been told. The Lord does not always tell those he sends on a mission what He expects out of them. Sometimes it is figured out only with time."_

_"So what do we do now?" Sam inquired._

_"That's easy," Dean replied. "We go back to Bobby's."_

_"But what about Cas? We can't leave him here like this."_

_"Yes we can," Dean argued._

_"Dean, he's human now," Sam protested. "We can't just leave him lying here. Who knows what'll happen when he wakes up? What condition he will be in?"_

_"I agree," Sofiel said. "I know you feel betrayed by Castiel, Dean, but he might not even remember what happened when he wakes. And even if he does, he most certainly will have been changed by the experience he's had. You need to look past what he's done."_

_"The hell I have to," Dean snapped._

_"Dean," Sam sighed. "Look, I'm angry at him too, but it wouldn't be right."_

_"What do you want to do?" Dean asked._

_"We could take him back to Bobby's," Sam suggested. "We could put him in the panic room until he wakes up."_

_Dean shook his head._

_"Just until he wakes up," Sam added._

_Dean huffed. "Whatever. Go ahead. But you're going to have to convince Bobby yourself. I'm sure not going to try."_

_"I will," Sam said. He then turned to face Sofiel. "Can you fly me and Cas to his house?"_

_"Yes," Sofiel answered. "Of course."_

_Sam looked back at Dean. "Are you coming, or do you want to drive the Impala back?"_

_"What do you think?" Dean said._

_Sam nodded. "Alright. I'll see you later."_

_He then approached Sofiel and they lifted Castiel up so they could wrap his arms around their necks._

_As soon as they were ready, Sofiel teleported away, and Dean trudged back to the Impala alone._

* * *

><p>When Dean had arrived at Bobby's he had been shocked to hear that Bobby had agreed that Castiel could stay in the panic room. Sure, he'd demanded that Castiel be locked in it, but Dean had thought Bobby wouldn't have let him stay at all. Sam must have pulled his puppy dog eye trick once again.<p>

Dean was asked by Sofiel to give her a pair of his jeans and shirt so she could change Castiel out of his bloody clothes. She insisted he was the closest to Castiel's height and weight and she refused to go steal some from a store, so Dean had grudgingly agreed to do so.

Now, after witnessing Castiel's first sign of humanity, Dean had hope that Castiel was going to be a better person. However, that didn't mean he wasn't still angry at him. Dean still planned on giving him a talking to when he awakened.

He didn't have to wait long.

Minutes later, as the first morning light shined into the panic room, Castiel stirred.


	5. Chapter 5

_For what I've done _

_I start again_

* * *

><p>It was a relief for Castiel to wake up alone in the panic room once more. No more ghosts of the past.<p>

But maybe they weren't the hardest people to face.

"About time you wake up," Dean's ever familiar voice hissed.

Castiel sat up and stared in the direction of the panic room door. He saw that Dean was looking right back at him with angry eyes.

"Deeaan," Castiel stumbled. "I..."

"Let me guess," Dean snapped. "You're going to say you're sorry; am I right?"

Castiel nodded, bowing his head.

"I figured you'd be sorry," Dean told him. "The only question was are you sorry because you failed to complete whatever insane mission you were on or because you betrayed your friends?"

Castiel looked up at him with sad eyes. "What do you take me for? I am sorry because I hurt you and Sam. That I nearly killed you both like I did with Rachel and Balthazar. Reflecting on what I have done in the last year and a half I wish I could erase it all. I was foolish, arrogant. I thought I could prove to everyone that I could do good my way. Instead, I did everything wrong. Proved that you were right all along. I should have asked for your help before ever considering to turn to Crowley for it. I should have changed strategies while I could. And I know sorry isn't enough but..."

"You're damn right it isn't enough," Dean interrupted.

"But," Castiel continued. "It's all I can offer you at the moment."

Dean became broodingly silent and his grip on the panic room's lock tightened so much his fingers turned white.

Castiel couldn't see this, but just by studying the expression on what little he could see of Dean's face he knew how furious he was.

"If it will help you any, do whatever you want to do to me," Castiel said. "Punch me, kick me, I will not stop you. You have an opportunity now that I am human and I deserve it."

Dean became stock still for a split second, then shook his head. Without a word he quickly released the lock and turned away.

Castiel stood and approached the door to watch as Dean silently trudged up the cellar stairs.

And he wondered what could have possibly stopped Dean from taking his anger out on him.

* * *

><p><em>"You have an opportunity now that I am human and I deserve it."<em>

Castiel's words echoed in Dean's head as he walked away from the panic room. The regret, pain, and most of all, the humanity that had been written on Castiel's face created an image that stayed stuck in his mind.

What had happened to Castiel while he'd been unconscious? Why did he seem so much more emotional than the last time he'd been human? Was it because last time he'd had nothing to feel guilty about? Did God have something to do with it?

It had been so startling, so strange, to see Castiel act and speak that way that Dean had been unable to bring himself to charge into the panic room and punch him as he had considered doing.

Once again, Castiel had changed. Dean had seen Castiel transform many times in the last four years from an obedient, by-the-book angel, to a rebel angel with limited powers, a basically human ex-angel, a re-booted angelic war leader, and finally, a cold and unnatural god-like creature.

Despite what Castiel's last transformation had been, this one was the one that stunned Dean the most. The one where Castiel was completely human and actually looked it because Dean hadn't had a single warning that such a dramatic change in his character was coming.

It left Dean confused about how he should handle the situation with Castiel. Should he continue to voice how betrayed he felt or just ignore Castiel? Should he force him to leave now or allow him to stay at Bobby's? Should he trust this new Castiel in any way? Could it be just a trick?

Dean decided it would be best to discuss the situation with Sam and Bobby. Surely they could figure out what would be best together.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Next chapter Bobby and Sam get involved. Later Sam will start playing more of a role than Dean.**


	6. Chapter 6

"What do you mean you're not sure what to do about him now?" Sam inquired after Dean told him and Bobby about his interaction with Castiel. "It's easy to figure out. We should let him out of the panic room and tell him he can stay temporarily in Bobby's spare bedroom if he wants to."

"Did you happen to forget that this is my house?" Bobby grumbled from his position behind the Library's desk.

Sam fell silent.

Dean stared at him. "After everything Cas has done, especially to you, why are you so ready to forgive him?"

Sam sighed. "I'm not, it's just that...I can relate, okay?"

"What do you mean...?" Dean's eyes widened with realization. "Sam, it's not the same. What you did during the Apocalypse...this is different."

"How?" Sam demanded. "We both thought we could save the world with the help of a demon, we both lied about it, we both did some things that were pretty damn dark, and we both hurt those we cared most about. How is that any different?"

Dean and Bobby both were speechless. When Sam laid it out like that the similarity was creepy.

"And it's not just about that," Sam continued. "I doubt God spared Cas from death just so he could experience humanity again. There has to be another reason behind what He did."

"There was," a voice rasped from behind him and Dean.

The brothers, having been caught off guard, flinched, then whipped about in their spots, hearts pounding.

Their eyes quickly fell on Castiel, who was standing in the threshold of the room.

"How the hell did you get out of the panic room?" Dean asked.

"I let him out," a sweet voice replied.

Dean glared at the owner of the voice as she stepped out from behind Castiel. "Sofiel. What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on everyone," Sofiel said. "Why hadn't you released Castiel yet?"

"They don't trust me," Castiel answered wearily. "With good reason. I am surprised you do."

Sofiel squeezed his right arm with one hand so that he would look her in the eyes. "Everyone deserves a second chance," she murmured.

Castiel nodded, remembering clearly how Sofiel had once been on Raphael's side. It was after all, the reason he'd been ready to kill her when he hadn't been himself.

"How did you open the panic room door?" Bobby finally quizzed Sofiel. "It's been angel proofed."

"That's my bad," Sam admitted. "I forgot to redraw the Enochain symbol I wiped off the wall so Sofiel could change Cas out of his suit in there."

"Bet you did," Dean said sarcastically.

Sam shook his head.

Everyone in the room except Castiel, who was trying not to look anyone in the eye, glanced at each other as if to say: _What now?_

The silence was awkward.

After several seconds, Bobby tapped his desk with one index finger a couple of times, then took a peek at his watch, which was hidden by his old gray flannel shirt sleeve.

"Well I'm going outside," he announced. "I've got a '65 Mustang to repair for a customer by tomorrow. Sam, Dean, when you have a chance there's a newspaper clipping here on my desk. Possible haunting you should investigate a-sap."

With that, Bobby was out of his chair and in the kitchen before Sam and Dean could even complete a nod.

The kitchen door opened and closed a couple seconds later.

"So where's this spare room, Sam?" Sofiel inquired.

"Upstairs, first room on the left," Sam replied. "Cas, your clothes are still in the dryer but there's another pair of clothes for you to change into up there."

Dean turned his head to stare at Sam. Obviously he hadn't been informed about that.

"Thank you Sam," Castiel said.

Sam nodded, and Sofiel tugged Castiel away from the Library.

"Could cut the tension in there with a knife," Sofiel muttered.

"Where did you over hear that expression?" Castiel asked.

Sofiel shrugged. "I watch 'the television' sometimes. Don't you?"

They climbed the stairs.

"Before you change clothes you will need to take a shower," Sofiel said.

"I've been human once before," Castiel told her. "I am not as unknowledgeable about the morning rituals of human beings as you may think."

"Right." Sofiel nodded. "I will leave you be to start then."

She immediately teleported away, leaving Castiel feeling slightly abandoned. He'd been hoping she'd stay a bit longer since she was the only one who still was talking to him but he wasn't going to call her back. He wasn't about to rely on her for support and help. She'd done enough. He knew he had to mend his friendships and redeem himself in God's eyes on his own.

Walking into Bobby's bathroom Castiel turned the shower handle on, undressed, stepped inside, and closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind momentarily as the warm water poured down onto his head and shoulders.

He had no such luck.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Glad everyone who's reviewed is liking this. Hope everyone else is too. Just it case anyone was curious, I changed the genre from friendship/drama to friendship/angst because I finally noticed how angsty things were lol. **


	7. Chapter 7

For the next two days Castiel spent a lot of his time alone. Sam and Dean had left the house for the hunt Bobby had mentioned while Castiel had been in the shower so it was just him and Bobby on the property. The hunter wasn't much company, not that Castiel was surprised. Bobby barely tolerated him, so there was little that was said. In fact, the only time Bobby had spoken to him was to tell Castiel how to work the microwave.

Bobby spent most of his time working in the salvage yard, and Castiel mostly stayed in the Library, reading books or watching the television, trying to better understand humanity. He had a feeling he'd be human for a while, if not for the rest of his human lifespan, so it was important he could adapt to the ways people had. Dean and Sam had taught him quite a bit, but there was much more to learn. Maybe the television wasn't the best way to do it, but it was a start.

On the third day Castiel was starting to get what the people on the TV called "cabin fever" so he took a walk around the house and sat on the steps of Bobby's front porch, enjoying the feeling of the warm sun shining down on him. The air was cold for December in South Dakota, almost freezing, but the sun was enough to convince Castiel it was worth it to stay outside. It reminded him of his grace, and how he'd never felt too hot or cold before with it. With the sun shining down on him it was almost like he had it back again. Almost because even with the sun out his fingers and toes were going numb.

Castiel was about to go back in the house when the Impala turned into the driveway and was parked beside the porch.

Castiel stood as Sam and Dean got out of the vehicle and watched sadly as Dean ignored him and headed out back to see Bobby.

Sam however, began walking towards him.

"Sorry about how quickly we left after you woke up," Sam apologized.

Castiel shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Sam. I am the one who needs to be."

"Cas," Sam started.

"Don't," Castiel said. "I do not want to argue over this. I want to make up for it. Redeem myself."

"Is that the mission God gave you?" Sam inquired.

"Yes," Castiel answered. "I need to right my wrongs and prove I am worthy of having my powers back again or I will stay this way."

Sam nodded. "Have you thought about how you are going to do it?"

"I considered hunting with you and Dean," Castiel said. "But I do not believe I am good enough to help you."

"I can teach you," Sam volunteered.

"I do not want to 'put you in the middle'," Castiel refused.

"Never mind Dean and Bobby," Sam told him. "They'll come around once you can prove to them that you've really changed. And you're right. The best way to prove you are worthy of both your powers _and _also their trust is to go on some hunts, help us kill evil, and save lives."

Castiel hesitated. "Alright," he finally agreed.

"Great," Sam said. "I'll go set up some cans out back and give you some proper training with a gun."

Twenty minutes later after Sam had finished arguing with Dean and Bobby over teaching Castiel to shoot and whether it was smart or not, Sam set up the cans and passed Castiel a colt revolver. Not thee Colt, of course, but another gun just like it.

Taking on the task of learning how to aim and fire a gun correctly was harder than it seemed, at least in Castiel's case. He'd handled a gun before and shot a Croatoan zombie with it, but that apparently, had been a lucky shot.

After reloading the gun twice and either missing the center can or just grazing it, Castiel became frustrated.

"Maybe I should stick to knives," he sighed.

Sam wouldn't accept the idea. "You're human now, Cas. Using a knife constantly in combat is dangerous. You'd have to get too close to the monster to kill it. There's a lot of risk. Dean and I like to stay out of arm's reach when facing shape shifters and other creatures. We only get up close if it's necessary or it attacks us. Plus, you need to know how to shoot guns so if we hunt ghosts you can shoot rock salt at them."

"You can do this," he finished.

Castiel took in the encouragement and tried again. For once, the can fell over, and Castiel couldn't help but smile a little.

"Great!" Sam exclaimed. "Now try to do that again."

Castiel missed several times afterwards but he shot the cans off the fence just as many times, and by the end of the day Sam had him working with a shotgun.

When it was time to go inside Castiel handed Sam the gun and Sam said, "Once I can convince Dean to let you come with us on a hunt, you can. You'll be ready."

"What if you can't?" Castiel questioned.

"I will," Sam assured him. "Dean will come around."

Castiel nodded, still in doubt, but said nothing else as he followed Sam into Bobby's house.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Next chapter Castiel finds Sam having a nightmare, and saves a life during his 1st hunt. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Sam kept his promise and Castiel learned to give him the benefit of the doubt. In the span of just one day Sam was able to convince Dean to let Castiel tag along with them on their next hunt, the one they were leaving Bobby's for the next morning.

Sam hadn't given much information to Castiel about the hunt except that they were going to San Diego, California because there had been several mysterious disappearances there, particularly of children.

Castiel had gone to bed early that night, tired from his second day of practice shooting and wanting to be rested for the real deal.

Sam had also turned in early, but Dean had driven into town to drink a couple beers at a bar, obviously wanting some time alone to think.

In was past midnight by the time Dean was back at Bobby's and Castiel, who was quickly learning he was a very light sleeper, was awakened by the sound of his entrance into the house.

Once he heard the bathroom door shut and the shower go on, Castiel rose and padded downstairs in his socks to fill a glass with water from the kitchen sink.

As he sipped from the glass he heard Sam thrashing around on the couch. Castiel stayed put, but peered into the Library. He wasn't able to see Sam in the darkness with his human eyes so he could not judge whether Sam was just restless or if he was dreaming.

However, as soon as Sam started whispering "no", "Adam", and "help" over and over Castiel approached him and shook him awake.

Sam gasped and his eyes snapped open.

"How?" Sam said, obviously puzzled. "How am I here? Is this a trick?"

Castiel stared at him, perplexed by his confusion. "Sam, this is not a trick. I believe you were dreaming. Am I correct?"

"It was a dream?" Sam's bewildered expression dissipated. "Yeah, I guess I was."

"You still aren't sure?" Castiel frowned.

"Yes, I mean no, I know it was a dream," Sam stammered. "But..."

"But it seemed like it was actually happening because it was a memory from your time in the cage," Castiel finished.

Sam sighed. "That wasn't what I was going to say, but yeah, it was."

"How often do you have these dreams?" Castiel inquired.

"Every night," Sam admitted.

Castiel closed his eyes, pained. "I never said I was sorry for what I did to you. If I hadn't broken the wall..."

"It would have broken eventually Cas," Sam told him. "I was afraid of the wall breaking, but unlike Dean, I was too curious and upset about my past to not try to remember it. I had a seizure and saw a piece of a memory of mine from Hell once while I was trying to fix what I'd done while I was soulless. It scared me, but eventually I'd have run into something else that would have triggered more memories whether or not I wanted it to happen. Death said it wouldn't last."

Castiel shook his head. "You could have lasted a while longer if not for me."

"Look," Sam said crossly. "It's no use arguing about this and it's pointless to think about it now. Neither of us can change the past. What's important now is what you do from here on out. Stop thinking about this as a guilt trip and start thinking of this as a new start."

"That is easier said than done when Dean does not want to give me a second chance," Castiel argued.

"You gained his trust once; you can do it again."

Castiel was unconvinced. "I had a 'clean slate' then."

"You were also an angel then," Sam pointed out. "In case you didn't notice, it takes a lot for Dean to invest his trust in anyone not one hundred percent human."

Castiel nodded. That was true.

They heard footsteps above them.

"I'm going back to sleep," Sam said. "You should too."

Castiel nodded again. "I will see you in the morning."

He then turned and headed back up the stairs.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hopefully that didn't seem out of character for Sam. Not concerned about Cas cause he's supposed to be human now. Never got to writing about the hunt because this turned out longer than I thought it would be. Therefore, that will be the next chapter. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

_Put to rest, what you thought of me_

_While I clean this slate_

_With the hands of uncertainty_

* * *

><p>Sam, Dean, and Castiel were on the road at 6:00am sharp. It was a long and boring trip. Dean was giving Castiel the silent treatment and he only spoke to Sam to answer him if he asked a question. Sam tried to strike conversation up with Castiel but even human Castiel wasn't much of a conversationalist. If he spoke, his sentences were always short and to the point.<p>

Sometime in the afternoon Dean and Sam switched positions in the front seat so Dean could take a break from driving and then they switched again around ten that night.

Castiel fell asleep in his seat by the left rear window and didn't wake up until they'd arrived in San Diego at five the next morning.

They all ate breakfast at a little corner restaurant, checked into their two hotel rooms (Castiel had his own), changed, and then got straight to work.

Sam researched their case online, Castiel mulled over what type of creature they could be hunting with him, and Dean interviewed the families whose spouses and children had disappeared.

When Dean returned to the hotel Sam and Castiel explained to him what they had learned while he was away.

"In the last day three of the five adults that had gone missing have turned up dead," Sam started.

"I know; I talked with their spouses," Dean said grimly.

"No sign of the children though," Sam continued.

Dean shook his head. "You're wrong there. Just three hours ago a woman spotted one of the two nine-year-old boys that were taken. She said he was filthy and had a crazy look in his eyes. Then he attacked her and tried to bite her. I saw it on the news."

"Sounds like a zombie," Sam said.

"Yes," Castiel agreed. "But it does not make any sense. If the creature we are after is a zombie it would be mindless, and there would be a trance, some kind of clue left behind if it were human."

"Vampire then?" Dean questioned.

Castiel shook his head. "Vampires haven't turned children in centuries. When they are turned their sire teaches them that it is not a good idea to change children. Children are too young to have the kind of self-control vampires need to prevent attention being drawn to themselves and their coven."

"Maybe the sire of that boy who attacked the woman wasn't informed of that or didn't care," Dean shrugged.

"Were the bodies found drained of blood?" Castiel asked.

Dean frowned. "No," he replied.

"Then it is not a vampire," Castiel finished.

"Maybe it's not anything we've seen before?" Sam suggested.

Dean stared at him. "Are you thinking that it might be another freak species that was created by Eve?"

Sam nodded.

"So what?" Dean quizzed. "Part vampire, part zombie?"

"Could very well be," Castiel rasped.

Dean sighed. "Wow, that evil bitch was creative. I'll ready the lethal weapons for both then."

"Dean," Sam paused. "Did you find out where the bodies were found?"

"On the opposite side of town that the disappearances happened," Dean replied. "And get this, they were all found in the same alley. The _cops_ believe the perk dumped them there."

That last statement caught Castiel's interest. "Are you implying that you believe the creature is still there, close by?"

"Yes," Dean nodded. "It's a long shot, but at the very least we might find something the cops missed."

* * *

><p>Four hours later, after eating dinner, Dean, Sam, and Castiel headed out to the alley where the bodies were found with machetes and stakes at hand.<p>

Crime scene tape still crisscrossed the entrance but there were no police around so they ignored it and lifted the tape over their heads to get through.

The bodies were gone from the scene but specks of dried blood still covered the ground surrounding each place they'd been located. Sadly, there was no other evidence there to hint at anything that would help the Winchesters and Castiel solve the mystery of what exactly had happened.

It turned out they didn't need it though, because Dean had been right.

As they walked further down the alley and turned into a connected one, they heard a piercing scream.

Bolting towards the sound, Castiel, Sam, and Dean found a very thin, wild looking woman cornering a six-year-old girl.

"Leave me alone!" the girl cried.

"But don't you want to be special?" the creature before her frowned. "My other children were too wild; I had to stop them. But you will be different, won't you?"

The girl began sobbing. "No! Take me back home. I wanna to go home!"

The creature approached her, fists shaking.

She was ready to start yelling at the girl or hit her, which one, Dean wasn't sure. Either way, he decided that it was best to step in before she had the chance to do it.

"Hey!" he shouted. "Leave the kid alone."

The woman smirked at him. "Try and stop me."

Dean released a howl and the fight began. Dean started punching the creature and she returned the blows. Sam and Castiel quickly joined in. The monster was strong, it took a lot of effort for even the three of them to bring her down by hand but Dean, Sam, and Castiel managed to get her under control and Dean chomped her head off with his machete.

When it was over, Castiel was the first to approach the little girl who had almost become the creature's next victim.

"Are you hurt?" he inquired.

The girl shook her head and then surprised Castiel by reaching out to hug his neck.

"It is alright," he said awkwardly. "You are safe now."

The girl stayed silent except for the sounds she made as tears of relief rolled down her cheeks.

Deciding to take the girl to the safety of the Impala, Castiel lifted her up into his arms and turned to carry her to it.

Sam and Dean had been watching the whole time and were starring when Castiel faced them. Sam looked impressed and Dean's eyes had softened. He didn't have that seemingly permanent grudge look in them. Castiel's hopes rose. He nodded at the Winchesters, not sure what to say to them, and followed them when they spun around in their spots to lead the way to the car.

As they walked, the girl gazed up at Castiel with innocent blue eyes, and asked it.

"Are you an angel?"

Castiel's eyes widened, and he glanced at Sam and Dean who had looked back at him after overhearing her.

Dean shook his head as the girl laid her head down on Castiel's shoulder and closed her eyes, tired. "A lot of them ask that."

"People compare those who save them to angels sometimes," Sam added.

Castiel nodded. He knew this. It just had thrown him off because he wasn't an angel anymore.

At least not a real one.

Castiel glanced down at the girl and it dawned on him.

Maybe he didn't have to be an actual angel to be a "real" one.

And maybe, just maybe, he was a better one now than he ever was.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Let me know how I did here. I had some trouble putting what I wanted to happen on paper, sort to speak. Anyways, next chapter Castiel learns that Sam and Dean have been researching for a way to rescue Adam.**


	10. Chapter 10

Weeks passed, and Castiel continued to hunt with Sam and Dean, becoming a better fighter and shooter as he gained experience. He also became better adapted to living a human life through lessons.

He learned how to blend in with other people and how to make conversation. He also learned how to drive a car (not the Impala, one of Bobby's remodeled cars) with the help of Dean, who had slowly forgiven him as time had passed.

Dean still occasionally had some trust issues, but for the most part, his and Castiel's friendship had been repaired. Even Bobby was a whole lot friendlier.

By the end of February Castiel had started to go on hunts alone and the remodeled junkyard car (a 1978 silver Bandit Trans Am) that Castiel had learned to drive in essentially became his. He was the only one who drove it and cleaned it and it contained all the weapons and fake IDs bought and made for him.

From an outsider it may have appeared that Castiel had forgotten about his past and moved on, but that couldn't be more farther from the truth.

Yes, he was driven to hunt to save lives, but he was also still driven by his need for redemption. He needed to feel that he'd made up for his wrongs, and of course, he was still hoping God would give him his powers back someday as promised.

Being human wasn't so bad, but Castiel knew he was never meant to be human. He felt it in his very being, in his gut. That sensation that something was missing, that he wasn't complete. It often consumed his thoughts.

When Castiel fought demons he thought about it. When Sofiel would visit him or join him and the Winchesters on a hunt he thought about it. When he was alone with nothing to do, he thought about it.

It only worsened after Sofiel told him Heaven was in chaos. Even after three months the angels were still fighting over who'd take Castiel's place. He worried about them. Angels weren't as close as humans were to their families, at least not most angels, but they still could be fond of each other.

The thought of his siblings fighting over his old position was upsetting. If only he'd be there, Heaven would finally be at peace. He knew it was his fault.

When he had moments of happiness, he remembered this. For that reason, Castiel never stayed happy for long.

Sam and Dean were the only two people in the world who knew what Castiel was thinking. They had convinced him several times to explain what was on his mind, but could never really succeed in getting his mind off of it. Hunting, liquor, and jokes could not make him forget.

And Sofiel was the only angel. She was also the only one who didn't try to take his mind off of it. Instead, she encouraged him, telling him he would get his wings back as long as he continued to do good. That God wouldn't break His promise. That He wouldn't forget about him.

Between the Winchesters' and Sofiel's different versions of support Castiel was able to make it by every day and continue on his mission.

Because of this, he promised God that he would repay them for their kindness as soon as he found a way.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Once again part of the story became longer than I expected and this was such a natural break I had to end this chapter there despite how short it is. So that means Castiel will have to make the discovery about Adam next chapter. **


	11. Chapter 11

One early morning in mid April, Castiel discovered a way he could repay the Winchesters.

He'd just returned to Bobby's house after a ghost hunt in New Hampshire when he found Sam at Bobby's desk studying a book intensely. Dean was still asleep on the floor, but it was clear Sam had been up for a while.

"What are you doing?" Castiel inquired curiously.

Sam glanced up from his book and sighed. "We never did tell you; did we?"

"About what?" Castiel asked with concern.

"When we haven't been busy Dean and I have been searching for a way to free Adam from the cage," Sam explained. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, it just never came up."

Castiel nodded. "No need to apologize, Sam. We have all been busy. Have you found anything that may help you rescue your brother?"

Sam shook his head sadly. "Nothing. Not that I ever really expected to find what we needed in a book. We need the help of someone powerful like Death. Unfortunately, he refuses to do for Adam what he did for me."

"I wish I could help," Castiel murmured. "I'm not much use right now to aid you in this matter, but I promise you if Adam has not been saved by the time I get my powers back, I will raise him from perdition myself."

"I don't want to bring up any touchy memories," Sam said regretfully, "But wasn't it hard enough to get me out of there? You couldn't even bring me back in one piece. How is it going to be any different with Adam?"

"I will bring help," Castiel answered. "I am sure that Sofiel will volunteer once I bring up the subject. She is quite fond of you and Dean now. And I will immediately search Adam to make sure his soul is intact when I arrive with him on Earth."

"Will you be able to put a wall up in his mind or erase his memories too?" Sam questioned.

Castiel bowed his head. "Unfortunately, no. Angels can erase Earth memories and Heaven memories but it is tricky, and we most certainly cannot erase memories of Hell that have scarred a soul, or else I'd have done so for you and Dean long ago. As for putting up a wall in a mind strong enough to last a while, besides God, only Death has that ability, to my knowledge."

"So Adam will have to deal with the effects of what Lucifer put him through immediately?" Sam asked.

"Yes," Castiel said. "And that is why I have to warn you that if you still want me to raise Adam when the time comes, there will be many complications. You are lucky that all you have from Hell are nightmares and bouts of confusion. Adam has been down there almost two Earth years longer than you and I doubt that he has such a strong will. It is quite possible that he will suffer terribly and die not long after his revival."

"We have to try," Sam told him. "We can't allow Lucifer to torture him for eternity. At least if he dies again he will return to Heaven instead of the Cage."

Castiel nodded. "That is reasonable. I just wanted to make sure you understood that for Adam, it will be a lot worse."

Sam closed his eyes, and Castiel was about to say that he would do anything to be able to heal Adam's soul for them when Bobby stomped into the room.

"Dean, wake up!" he yelled.

Dean bolted up into a sit, startled. "What is it?"

"I just got a call from Judy, a hunter who lives out in Missouri," Bobby began. "She's one of the hunters I'd informed about Crowley a while back. Anyways, her cousin was interrogating a demon down in Oklahoma the other day and he managed to get it to tip Crowley's location before he exorcised it. He called Judy as soon as he could get to a phone and then she called me."

"Where is he?" Sam inquired.

"New Jersey," Bobby replied.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Things are about to get action packed. :D**


	12. Chapter 12

_Whatever pain may come_

_Today this ends_

_I'm forgiving what I've done_

* * *

><p>Castiel tried calling Sofiel to ask her to join them in their hunt for Crowley but she didn't come. She'd been spending more and more time in Heaven with a band of angels that were trying to bring peace to Heaven, and because of this, she was understandably busy at times.<p>

Bobby was also tied up with business, so it was just him and the Winchesters who were going after Crowley.

Deciding it would be better to travel all together, Castiel had left his car behind and joined Sam and Dean in the Impala on their trip to Jersey City, where Crowley was staying in an abandoned apartment building. A giant step down in style from his last place.

When they drove up onto the street that Bobby had told them the apartment was on Dean searched for a place to park the Impala out of sight. After he found a spot and parked Dean, Sam, and Castiel grabbed their weapons and sneaked into the broken down building.

They wondered through the building silently, stealthily, hoping that they could manage to find Crowley first before he spotted them.

But it was not meant to be.

"Sam, Dean, Castiel," Crowley's voice rang out from behind them.

They turned on their heels to face him. The demon dared to smile.

"Figured you'd be stopping by soon," he continued. His eyes fell on Castiel. "Enjoying humanity Cas?"

Castiel glared at him.

"How did you know we were coming?" Dean asked Crowley, worried by his statement.

The King of Hell grinned. "You didn't really think that I'd accidently let one of my guards be captured, did you?"

"This was a trap," Sam said, eyes widening.

"Why?" Castiel inquired.

"Because I'm bloody tired of hiding," Crowley answered. "It's time that I fight. It's not like _you_ can harm me anymore now that you're as powerless as a kitten."

Castiel's grip on the demon knife he held tightened and his free hand curled up into a ball. The dark expression on his face would have frightened any sane person, but Crowley, knowing he wasn't powered up anymore, didn't seem the least bit worried.

Crowley whistled and two female crossroads demons appeared.

"Wow," Dean commented. "You've really got your bitches well trained, don't you?"

Crowley smirked at him. "Their dogs too."

As if on command two invisible creatures growled at Dean. He gulped, but other than that and a glance at the floor by Crowley's feet, he didn't show his fear.

Castiel's face, for once, showed more emotion on it than Dean's. It terrified him to be facing such creatures while he was still mortal and he didn't have the same determination to cover that fear as Dean had his.

"Order the hounds to attack," Crowley commanded the crossroad demons.

The female demons told their hounds to "kill" in Latin and the hounds bayed happily as they charged.

The Winchesters began shooting at the invisible creatures and Castiel stabbed at one as soon as it toppled him over, onto the ground.

It was only by luck that the knife found the hound's heart and it collapsed on Castiel. He shoved the huge dog off of him and stood to aid Sam and Dean.

Dean was fighting one of the female crossroads demons and seemed to be doing all right, but Sam was on the ground, being dragged by the arm by an invisible force as he vainly tried to kick it.

Castiel bravely lunged at the hound, taking a guess where the body would be, and Sam's arm was released.

However, before either Sam or Cas could stand again, the hound and the second crossroads demon were upon them. The demon was punching Sam, and the hound was snapping at Castiel, who was trying to kick the monstrous animal away. His knife was mere inches away from him, but he knew if he reached for it the hellhound would be able to get to his throat.

The hellhound managed to grab hold of Castiel's hand when he raised it to punch the creature, and he cried out in pain. Banging his other fist on what felt like the hound's head, he managed to get the animal to drop his hand, but it was very mangled and bloody. He was pretty sure he was missing a finger or two.

Ignoring the searing pain coming from his wounded hand Castiel used it and his other one to give the hound a push, and then kicked it farther away from him.

Taking a risk, he quickly reached for the knife and lifted it, pointy end up, as he heard the hound leap, and closed his eyes.

Suddenly he could feel something heavy on him and he could feel warm blood dripping onto his neck. The hound whined, and Castiel pulled his knife out of its body to give it another couple of stabs. When the creature was silent he pushed it off him, huffing and puffing from exhaustion.

But the fight wasn't over yet. He was holding the only thing that could kill the demons attacking Sam and Dean, he needed to help them.

Using a burst of energy caused by the adrenaline that had been released into his body, Castiel stood and bolted in Sam and Dean's direction, but someone grabbed him by his shirt collar, and his legs almost slipped out from under him as he was forced to pit stop.

"Uh-uh," Crowley hissed in his ear. "I think it's time we had a talk, don't you?"

"We have nothing to discuss," Castiel snapped, elbowing Crowley in the face.

The demon stumbled backward, and Castiel continued to head towards the Winchesters and the demons fighting them, but Crowley stopped him by throwing him against a wall with his powers and pinning him to it. The knife was lost again.

The demon smirked. "Being human really sucks, doesn't it?"

"It is better than being what you are," Castiel spat.

"How can you be so sure?" Crowley questioned him. "When you have never experienced it?"

"I have experienced something close to it," Castiel said.

Crowley nodded bitterly. "Yes, you have. Haven't you? Then God swooped in and took the souls away back to Purgatory and put a new lock on it so that it could not be re-opened the same way. Bugger."

He paused, then continued. "You are going to pay dearly for that, you hear?"

"I am not afraid of you," Castiel growled.

"You should be," Crowley barked.

He released Castiel from his spell and the ex-angel fell to his knees. Before Castiel could get up on his feet, the demon approached him and grabbed him by the throat, then threw him against the wall.

Castiel winced. His back was starting to become quite sore.

Crowley tightened his grip on Castiel's throat and cut his oxygen supply off completely. Castiel struggled to free himself from the demon's grasp, but he was no match for the strength the King of Hell had.

Somehow, Dean had been able to get away from the demon he'd been fighting and had seen the demon knife on the floor.

Trying to save Castiel, Dean stepped up behind Crowley with the knife and was about to stab him when Crowley saw him out of the corner of his eye. Crowley released Castiel and turned to catch Dean's arm as it came swinging down towards him.

"Sorry Dean, it's not going to be that easy," Crowley grinned, then took the knife from Dean and threw it yards away.

Dean gritted his teeth. "Maybe not, but I'm not letting you escape this time."

"We'll see about that," Crowley said.

The two, demon and hunter, began to fight. It was the first time Dean had ever seen Crowley fight a hand-to-hand combat, but he was surprisingly good at it. It took a lot of Dean's energy to protect himself from Crowley's blows.

It also took a lot of Dean's focus. So much, he couldn't see the demon he'd been fighting previously, stand up.

The demon grabbed Dean and held him so Crowley could punch him without much effort. Dean was being beat down, and Sam was still too busy defending himself from the crossroads demon attacking him to help.

Dean was in so much pain everything that happened next was a blur.

Castiel had managed to crawl over to where the demon knife had been thrown and was racing towards Crowley with it, but the demon heard him and like Dean, caught his arm.

There was a struggle, and then Castiel fell to his knees, covering a bloody wound in his side with one hand.

Crowley had stabbed him.

"No!" Dean yelled.

He fought against the demon holding him and managed to get free so his could tackle Crowley. The demon was so surprised that the knife wasn't hard to take from him and Dean immediately stabbed Crowley in the heart.

The demon's eyes widened to the widest Dean had ever seen on a demon, and his body lit up with yellow light. He screamed, than plopped over, dead.

Dean did not take a moment to think or glance at Castiel. Instead, he quickly turned to the demon that had held him as Crowley had punched, and killed her too.

He then gave Sam the knife who was finally able to defeat the last demon in the room.

Panting, the Winchesters glanced at each other, and then their eyes fell on Castiel.

"Cas!" Sam shouted.

Castiel moaned, and the brothers raced to kneel by his side.

"Sofiel!" Dean called out. "Sofiel, we need you here, _now_! Cas has been stabbed."

Sofiel immediately appeared and gasped when she saw Castiel lying on the floor, so severely injured. "What happened?"

"Crowley," Sam told her.

She fell to the ground and put a hand over Castiel's wound but though she concentrated and closed her eyes, nothing happened.

"I don't understand," she whispered.

Castiel coughed. "I am not meant to live. You cannot stop me from dying, Sofiel. Do not blame yourself or think something is wrong with you."

Sofiel shook her head.

"Call the ambulance," Dean ordered Sam.

Sam pulled out his phone, but Castiel stopped him from dialing with his uninjured hand.

"If Sofiel cannot help me, do you really think human doctors could?" Castiel asked.

"You don't know the reason she can't heal you," Dean replied. "It could be something else."

"Even if it is," Castiel said, "The ambulance would never make it in time."

Dean shook his head. "Cas..."

"I am sorry," Castiel interrupted.

"For what?" Dean frowned.

"For what I did," Castiel answered. "I apologized to Sam, but never to you."

Dean stared at him, then closed his eyes. "That's in the past now, Cas. I've forgiven you. You know that. And I am the one who should be apologizing."

Now it was Sam and Castiel's turn to stare at him.

"What do you mean?" Castiel rasped.

"I was too hard on you," Dean told him. "I shouldn't have been. And I should have told you when you left after the Apocalypse, that you could come to me for help if you really needed it. I'd have rather you do that then tag team with Crowley."

"Dean," Castiel said. "It is not your fault. That was my choice. And even if I'd asked for your help, there wasn't much you could have done."

Castiel's eyes fell to small slits and Dean grabbed his shirtsleeve. "Sofie, we've got to do something!"

The angel shook her head again. "I don't know anyone powerful enough to heal him that would."

"Cas, you've got to hang on," Dean pleaded.

But Castiel was too wounded to do so.

He looked at Sam, Dean, and Sofiel one last time, and then closed his eyes completely.

His breath turned swallow, then stopped completely.

When Sam checked for Castiel's pulse and found that there was none, he bowed his head.

"Damn it, Cas," Dean whispered, closing his eyes.

Sofiel closed hers too.

And the atmosphere filled with sorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hope you enjoyed the unusually long chapter. So much to write about. Anyways, so now the question is will Cas stay dead or be revived by God? It will be up to God to decide whether or not Cas has redeemed himself enough to be brought back. BTW, Dean saying Sofie wasn't a mistake. That's Sofiel's nickname, just something I only got around to using now. **


	13. Chapter 13

For a moment, Castiel existed in nothingness, a dark place, then he reawakened in the white room that he'd talked to God in months ago.

So he wasn't surprised, after he stood, to see God approaching him.

"I have been watching you during these few months," God began. "And I am impressed. In such a short time you have learned a lot about honesty, loyalty, care, and sacrifice. You also came to the realization that just because you were human, it didn't mean you couldn't make a difference. Your powers, Castiel, aren't what makes you a hero. You proved this through every person you saved while on Earth hunting."

Castiel nodded. "But did I redeem myself? Dean and Sam have assured me that I have in their eyes, but what about yours?"

"You've risked your life saving many people during the past months and you died because you put your friend's life before your own," God said. "I believe that is enough."

"So does this mean I will get all my powers back?" Castiel inquired.

"Yes," God replied. "But with one condition-that you remember every day the lessons humanity has taught you, and be a better angel for it. Never forget."

"I won't," Castiel promised.

God smiled. "Very well, then."

He laid his right hand on Castiel's shoulders, and Castiel could feel the power and warmth of his grace return to him. He closed his eyes and rejoiced its return.

When he opened his eyes again, Castiel returned God's smile. "Thank you."

"No, thank you," God said. "You have proven that my faith in you was not misplaced."

What Castiel felt in that moment was indescribable.

"I will return you to your friends now," God continued. "You have a promise to fulfill."

Castiel nodded. He knew what God meant.

"Be cautious on this adventure," God warned him. "This will be the last time I revive you."

Castiel nodded again. "You've done more for me than what should have been expected. I am grateful."

God flashed him another smile then placed his hand once more on Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel felt a jolt run through his body and God and the white room disappeared from his view.

* * *

><p>Sam, Dean, and Sofiel were still beside Castiel's body when it shuddered with returning life and his eyes snapped open.<p>

The two hunters and angel starred at him in disbelief for a moment, having truly thought they had lost their friend for good.

"Cas?" Dean breathed. "Did God...?"

Castiel smiled. "Yes, He did."

Everyone stood.

"I have all my powers back," Castiel finished.

"You don't have any idea how happy I am to have you back," Dean told him.

"Me as well," Sam said.

Castiel grinned. "I am glad to be back."

He glanced at Sofiel and she put her hand on his arm. The gesture said more than words could say. She was glad too.

* * *

><p>After Dean and Sam loaded the Impala's trunk with their weapons and slammed it shut, they approached Castiel and Sofiel who were standing by the front of the car side by side.<p>

Castiel had changed out of his bloody clothes and back into his suit and trench coat. It acted as a visual to the return of Castiel's grace. Looking at their friend now, Sam and Dean got the feeling that everything was finally right again.

"Are you coming with us?" Dean asked him and Sofiel.

Castiel and Sofiel shook their heads.

"I figured that much," Dean sighed. "We'll see you around then?"

"We will see you soon," Sofiel corrected him.

Dean cocked an eyebrow. "Where are you going?"

"To rescue your brother, Adam," Castiel answered.

Sam and Dean's eyes widened.

"Do not seem so surprised," Castiel said. "I promised you that I would do so, so I will."

"Thanks Cas," Sam beamed.

Sofiel cleared her throat and Sam chuckled. "You too, Sofie."

"Yeah," Dean agreed.

Sofiel bowed her head, then she and Castiel turned and teleported away.

"They really are alike," Dean huffed. "Neither of them knows how to say goodbye."

"Maybe because it isn't," Sam said.

Dean shook his head then lowered himself into the Impala.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You guys didn't really think I'd let Cas stay dead, did you? Next chapter, Adam's back. But the question is: What kind of shape will he be in?**


	14. Chapter 14

Adam's rescue was a tricky mission, one that involved a lot of planning by Castiel and Sofiel. Deciding that the easiest way to save Adam was for Sofiel to distract Lucifer and Michael, she took a forward approach to the Cage as Castiel sneaked up from behind so he could have enough time to cast a temporary spell that would enable him to retrieve Adam from it.

As planned, Lucifer saw Sofiel coming from a far distance and focused on her.

"Sister," Lucifer grinned. "Forgive me, but I seem to have forgotten your name."

"It's Sofiel," she told him.

"Have you decided to come here to release me?" Lucifer asked.

Sofiel shook her head. "Even if I wanted to, I do not have the power to do so."

"Then why are you here?" Lucifer inquired.

"Where's Michael?" Sofiel quizzed, having just noticed that he was missing from the cage.

"Someone came for him," Lucifer answered bitterly.

Sofiel wondered if that someone was God and if he'd been through something similar to Castiel, but kept her thoughts to herself.

"You didn't answer my question," Lucifer quickly pointed out to her.

Sofiel grinned as she peered behind him and saw Castiel pulling an unconscious Adam out of the Cage.

"To distract you as Castiel saved the human you've be playing with," Sofiel said. "Don't you know that you're not allowed to have fun while you're stuck down here?"

Lucifer's eyes widened and he spun around just as Castiel had managed to put Adam's left arm around his neck, safe on the outside of the Cage. The spell Castiel had placed on it died out.

Lucifer turned back to Sofiel, his eyes full of burning fury.

"When I get out of here, Sofiel," he snapped. "You and Castiel are the first on my kill list."

Sofiel smirked. "We'll see about that."

She then joined Castiel at the back of the Cage and followed him back to Earth.

* * *

><p>As soon as they landed on Earth, in a field somewhere in Kansas, Castiel got to work mending Adam's body and soul together as he healed his body's injuries.<p>

Sofiel watched Castiel work silently on the handsome blond human until Adam gasped and awakened.

"Where I am?" he asked.

"You are back on Earth," Sofiel replied in her singsong voice. "You are safe."

Adam shook his head. "Can't be."

He took notice of Castiel and how he had his hand out stretched, and accepted it, allowing Castiel to help him up onto his feet.

"I remember you," Adam said. "You're Castiel, the angel. You're a friend of Sam and Dean."

"Yes," Castiel confirmed, impressed by the young man's memory.

"If this is real, then why did you bring me back?" Adam inquired.

Castiel stared at him, confused. "For Sam and Dean, of course."

"Let us take you to them and they will explain everything that has happened since your passing," Sofiel said.

Adam nodded, not sure what else he'd rather them do, and Castiel laid two fingers on his head.

The world spun, and afterwards, he found himself in the Library, where he had awakened the last time angels had revived him.

Sam, Dean, and Bobby, who had been gathered around the desk in the room, bolted out of their chairs when they saw him.

"Adam," Sam said with relief in his voice.

Finally, his half-brother had been freed from Lucifer's torture. Sam hadn't felt so happy in a long time.

From Dean's smile, he was also very happy to see their brother alive again.

Adam stood still, unsure of what to say.

"Is this really happening?" he questioned them.

Dean and Sam nodded.

"It's real," Sam confirmed.

Adam sank down onto the couch.

"What now?" he asked.

Sam and Dean glanced at each other.

Neither Winchester had an answer to that.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I had Michael missing from the cage because I wanted this story to match up with my other fic In A New Light, in case you were wondering. Next chapter is all about Adam. He's going to be the center of Sam, Dean, and Castiel's attention.**


	15. Chapter 15

Adam stayed at Bobby's house, sleeping in the room Castiel had been using previously.

His first day had been a confusing one, both mentally and emotionally. Sam and Dean had filled Adam in as much as they could about what had happened during the last three years then did their best to help him get used to having them around. They got the sense that Adam was grateful that they had asked Castiel to save him, but at the same time he still had an underlying grudge against them for what had happened to him.

There was also the fact that they were still like strangers to Adam, and therefore, he didn't feel any real ties to his brothers yet.

This was evident by the way that Adam spent a lot of his time alone, avoiding them.

Sam and Dean hoped that eventually Adam would warm up to them and try to restart his life in Sioux Falls, but for now, they were just grateful he was back and apparently no worst off than Sam had been when his wall had broken.

But this all changed when on the second day of his return, Adam collapsed in the Library and had his first seizure right before Dean's horrified eyes.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Dean recounted what had happened earlier to Castiel in the Salvage Yard. Sam was with them.<p>

"I warned you that something like this could happen to him," Castiel reminded Dean after he had finished speaking.

"Are you sure there is no way to help him?" Sam inquired.

Castiel sighed. "If there was anything, I would have informed you, Sam."

"Do you think he will get better with time?" Dean asked hopefully.

"I do not know," Castiel said grimly. "Even if he would get better with time, he may not make it that long."

Dean's hopes were crushed.

"So what, we just do nothing?" he quizzed angrily.

"You do what you have been doing," Castiel answered. "Be there for him and hope for the best."

* * *

><p>Sam and Dean did what Castiel advised, but it didn't seem to do any good. As they gained Adam's trust and friendship, his symptoms caused by his damaged soul worsened. His first seizure lead to more, and they lasted longer and longer as well as becoming more and more frequent as time passed.<p>

Nightmares plagued Adam's sleep and he often awakened in the middle of the night soaked with sweat.

He did have the occasional dream of his time in Heaven but this was almost as bad as the nightmares because more than anything, Adam wished he could return to Heaven. He'd give anything not to feel pain anymore. He never mentioned this to Dean or Sam because he knew how upset they'd be over him wanting to give up, but it was always there in the back of his mind.

By his second week back on Earth, Adam had fallen into a deep depression.

He began secretly binge drinking when Sam, Dean, and Bobby were on a hunt or asleep. And when they cleared the kitchen of liquor, despite Bobby's complaints, Adam drove to a bar.

Then one morning, Bobby caught Adam taking his gun out of the Library desk and studying it.

"Believe me," Bobby began to speak, startling Adam. "I've thought about it before myself, but shootin' yourself isn't the answer, kid."

Adam laid the gun on the desk and sat down in the desk chair. "Then what?"

Bobby shrugged. "It's up to you. Just don't let evil win. Keep fighting."

Adam nodded and put the gun away.

Reassured that Adam wasn't considering suicide anymore, Bobby walked out of the house to work on a rusty pick-up truck.

When Bobby stepped out onto the porch and the door shut behind him, Adam took the gun out again.

* * *

><p>Adam did not shoot himself that day. For some reason he couldn't. Maybe it was because of Sam, Dean, and Bobby, or maybe it was because he was scared of where he'd go after he died. Maybe it was both. Adam didn't know. He just knew that he had decided to fight because of it.<p>

He pulled himself out of his self-pity, his depression, and tried to enjoy what he could about each new day.

While there were many painful seizures and haunting nightmares, there were good times too. Sometimes he even laughed with his brothers.

He also began to have hope when Dean and Sam told him that they, along with Castiel and Sofiel, were hunting down a powerful witch that possibly knew a way to heal his soul. All they had to do was find her and make a deal with her. She would heal Adam, and in return she'd live to see another day.

But alas, it was not meant to be. The witch had to be killed out of self-defense when Sam and Dean found her, and Adam had an accident.

* * *

><p>A month had passed since Adam had been saved when it happened.<p>

It was morning, and Adam and his half brothers had been up and sitting in the Library talking during the later half of it.

Near noontime, Adam stood to go get a soda from Bobby's fridge.

When he reached the kitchen though, a seizure overtook him and he fell, hitting his head on the table and then the floor.

The thump of these head-to-object collisions and a sickening crack sent Sam and Dean running to Adam's side.

They waited helplessly for Adam's seizure to stop and for him to wake, but his eyes didn't open and they called Castiel.

"Can you heal him?" Dean inquired.

Castiel nodded. "The damage done by the fall, yes. But..."

"But what?" Sam frowned.

Castiel avoided having eye contact with them. "Maybe it is better if we let Adam decide what he wants."

"You mean let him choose whether he wants to live or die?" Dean asked.

"Yes," Castiel confirmed.

Dean shook his head.

"Adam has been through a lot," Castiel argued. "Doesn't he deserve a choice?"

Sam and Dean glanced at each other. They knew what Adam would choose if they let him decide.

But Castiel was right. It would be selfish not to give Adam the chance to choose.

"Alright," they agreed hesitantly.

"But how are you going to ask him when he's unconscious?" Dean added.

"Through his dream state," Castiel told him as if it was perfectly normal to do so.

Dean guessed it was for Castiel.

Castiel disappeared and Sam and Dean waited.

* * *

><p>Castiel found Adam on a bench overlooking a playground. The playground that had been a part of his Heaven.<p>

"Did you come to drag me back into my body?" Adam inquired bitterly.

"I have come here to give you a choice," Castiel said. "I can heal you or help you along."

Adam looked up at the angel. "You mean help me die?"

"If that is what you wish," Castiel replied.

"Will I go to Heaven?" Adam asked.

"There is no reason for you not to," Castiel told him.

After that, Adam didn't hesitant. "Then, yes. I want to go to Heaven."

Castiel approached him slowly.

"Tell Sam and Dean I'm sorry," Adam murmured. "I tried."

"I will," Castiel promised.

He placed two fingers on Adam's forehead, and Adam slumped forward, falling off the bench.

Darkness closed in on Castiel, and he was pushed out of Adam's mind.

* * *

><p>When Castiel found himself in light again, he was standing beside Adam's still body, Sam and Dean across from him.<p>

They starred at him, silently asking him what Adam had chosen though a quick check of his pulse would have given them their answer.

Castiel bowed his head, and the Winchesters closed their eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** **Next chapter is the last one. **


	16. Chapter 16

_What I've Done_

_What I've Done_

_Forgetting What I've Done_

* * *

><p>That afternoon, as the sun began to set, Dean, Sam, and Bobby built a pyre and laid Adam's body, wrapped, on it.<p>

Holding back tears, Sam and Dean watched as Bobby set fire to the pyre and continued to watch as their brother's body burned for a second time in four years.

"Rest in peace, Adam," Dean managed to say.

Sam and Bobby nodded, and the trio fell silent.

* * *

><p>Yards away, Castiel and Sofiel appeared, and approached them.<p>

When Dean spotted them coming he craned his neck to see them better, and Sam and Bobby's eyes soon followed his.

"We just wanted to stop by to say goodbye," Castiel told them.

"You're leaving?" Dean almost shouted.

"Yes," Castiel answered. "I am returning to Heaven to help Sofiel and the other angels who are trying to bring peace to it."

Castiel knew it wouldn't be easy to gain the trust of his fellow angels again, but he was determined to help them, to save them from themselves.

"Are you going to come back?" Sam inquired, drawing Castiel out of his thoughts.

"Of course," Castiel replied. "And if you ever need my help all you have to do is call."

"What if you're busy?" Dean quizzed.

"I will try to always come if it is an emergency," Castiel paused. "But if it isn't, I hope you will understand if I do not."

Dean nodded. He could accept that.

"If you ever need us to help you Cas, just let us know," Sam said.

Dean agreed.

Castiel smiled. "Thank you for the offer."

Most angels would have brushed off the idea of a human helping them with heavenly business, but Castiel now knew better than to. He knew how strong humans could be.

Castiel glanced at Bobby and Bobby shifted awkwardly in his spot.

"I'll, er, see you around," the gruff hunter said.

If Castiel were still human, he would have laughed. Instead, his smile grew slightly wider.

"Are you ready to go, Castiel?" Sofiel asked softly several seconds later.

Castiel turned to look at her, and nodded. "Yes."

Sofiel teleported away, and Castiel looked back at his friends one last time. After he'd done so, Castiel spread his wings and flew to Heaven.

Following Sofiel home.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The End.**


End file.
